..and I am in that place where I would like to go and talk with the new coworkers I got, it would be good to my career to "reconnect" with some of them, then I read the list of guests and XABF and his clan are also invited...
Its for next Saturday.... I would love to go with my BF... but then I feel bad with myself for still considering "XABF" may go with GF and act careless and get drunk and ouch! it will be too much to handle, to see them together again (God finally gave me a break and I havent run into them in a while now)... then its a great chance to go and even if he goes I'm there having a good time huh!! that was the attitude I had for past work related events, but those were in a much larger scale, this one is a smaller gathering on a garden..
Im thinking that, if I still post here these kind of "doubts", its a suggestion I'm not where I want to be yet emotionally and I should avoid those "events" or better yet plan others but without him...
I'm also thinking a few of the other guests are so called "friends" who never gave a damn in my worst stages (but now they say hi to me with a hug WTF) so why would I want to go? mmm I got conflicting feelings DAMN! lol
Guess my sanity is first? Or I went insane already :rotfxko
Maybe someday if I can actually buy furniture during this year, I can invite the ones I am closest to and the new ones in my own team, to MY place... and cook something (I cooked some traditional dish from my home city and it was very well received by the guests then).. the bad thing about it is that it will be months before that and down here it is rather "important" to participate in social things to be deemed a "team player" (it sucks but that's how it is like here). Lately I've had issues at the job and that event could help ease things...
sorry to interrupt while others have real issues. UGH! thanks for letting me vent.