Grats on another beginning. You can stay sober. It really is possible.
Yeah there's something about the early 30's. I haven't drank since I turned 35, and damn those last 5 years were a total nightmare.
I know lots of alcoholics that did the "marijuana maintenance plan" for a while. (I tried the cocaine plan to utter defeat.) But at some point we have to ask ourselves "What's wrong with me that I can't enjoy life as it is? Without a crutch?"
Searching diligently for the answers, with the desperation of a drowning man, was my beginning. I found them all in Alcoholics Anonymous, especially in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous through the help of others. Yes I am an addict too. A hardcore user believe me, and so I need hardcore, grass-roots recovery.
The headline of your post strikes up a line in the book "And we have ceased fighting anyone or anything, even alcohol." So the key they told me is to surrender, not fight. Or "don't keep hanging on, but keep letting go.." That's the tough part for most of us.