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New here...ready to fight this

Old 02-18-2010, 02:42 PM
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New here...ready to fight this

Hi Everyone. I can't tell you how much help this site has been to me. I am a 100% addict. My main problem is alcohol, but I have been smoking pot for the better part of 14 years as well. I have also abused just about every drug in the book at one time or another. Alcohol has caused me the most grief though. I have noticed that every time I quit alcohol, I always turn to pot. The pot has kept me from drinking for at the longest 6 months one time, but as I am now realizing, if I do not quit both, I am destined to fail at recovery. I have not been truly sober and drug/alcohol free in over 14 years. I am in my early 30's now.

This past weekend I decided to finally quit alcohol after severely hurting my family 'one more time'. I now realize that I can never be a drinker period. Practically every challenge I have had in the last 14 years has been caused by alcohol. I have had 2 DUI's (the last one was 10 yrs. ago), been arrested multiple times for drunkiness, and spent a total of 25 days in jail, 14 days was the longest at one time. I have managed to stay out of legal trouble for the last 10 years. This is part of the reason I 'thought' I didn't have a problem anymore.

I am now on day 4 without alcohol and my withdrawls have been the standard sweating, moodiness, nightmares and foggy head. I feel that this time is different. For the first time in my life, I realize I am more than an alcoholic, I am an addict. I have been programmed to sort my emotions with alcohol/drugs and it is time to stop. I am actually excited to see what the real me is like. I have been blacking out just about everytime I drink for the last 10 years. Sometimes when I would blackout people wouldn't even know that I had been drinking. I could go a whole weekend and barely remember anything while still functioning at family events, etc. I always made it to work, so I justified that as 'there was not a problem'. Most weekdays I would start drinking mid-afternoon until I passed out, wake up and go to work(never drank at work) the next day and then repeat the drinking cycle everyday. On weekends I would virtually drink from Friday night until Sunday night, mornings included. The pot would usually fill up the time when I wasn't drinking.

Sorry to keep rambling, but I do have one question that I would like people offer me their thoughts on. I am currently smoking pot once or twice a day to help with the anxiety of life, but I eventually want to quit pot too. Do you think I should quit both now or wait and tackle the alcohol first? I just don't want to create to much pressure and end up failing at both. My head is a mess, but I do feel there is already an improvement. I have never put this much emphasis on recovery before. Any time I have quit in the past, I knew that someday I would try 'controlled drinking' again....only to end up worse than ever. Thanks again everyone. To be honest, in the past few days when things have gotten a little tough, I have gone here to help me understand why things are the way they are.
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Old 02-18-2010, 02:51 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR.

Do you really think that smoking pot will help you to quit alcohol? I think if you are honest with yourself you would probably admit that at some point, if you keep smoking, you will be more likely to drink alcohol than if you were completely clean and sober.

This disease of alcoholism (addicition) is a big liar. It will tell you anything so you keep drinking/using.

My experience of more than one addiction is that one will use the other to get me using both. Be wary of this.

Good luck in your journey of recovery. I use the 12 Steps of AA for recovery. Have you considered meetings?
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Old 02-18-2010, 02:54 PM
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Hi fightingaddict

Welcome

I don't believe the marijuana is helping you at all.

I smoked and drank myself for nearly twenty years. Looking at it from this vantage point, I've come to believe that pot was simply another manifestation of my inner monster - my addictive personality, my self-medicating, my escape...

I gave up pot around 2000...and immediately drank harder...eventually reintroduced pot into my life anyway.

To me it's just shifting deckchairs on the Titanic.

What I recommend you do is see a Dr - get a professional medical opinion on detox and your health.

I also strongly recommend you look into a recovery programme - whether it be AA or something else.

D
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Old 02-18-2010, 02:56 PM
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Welcome to SR! I hope we can provide you with the support and information you need to stay clean and sober. As far as quitting one addiction at a time, that's up to you. We have lots of forums here for lots of different subjects. Look around and explore them all as you like.

I'm glad you joined us!
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Old 02-18-2010, 02:58 PM
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Thanks for the reply. I know that I want to quit pot too, it just seems like too much too handle at once. I really don't think AA is for me, I have attended these before not by choice, but because the courts made me.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:00 PM
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In my opinion, smoking pot is definitely not going to help you stop drinking.

You are replacing one method of 'coping' with another and you are not moving forward in recovery.

I hope you will keep reading and posting.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:11 PM
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WOW!!! Thank You everyone for telling me what I already knew, but just didn't want to admit. The reason I am afraid to quit pot is that I feel I will start back drinking. This is what has always happened in the past. What am I thinking though... I need to learn to cope with the feeling of sobriety.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:12 PM
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Welcome to SR Fighting.

I quit smoking up 6 years ago and finally quit drinking last year. The pot never got me into trouble but when I quit drinking I am glad I didn't turn to it for help.
Instead I came here when things dot difficult and read and posted.
I am glad that I went that route but do what you have to do to get sober.
Good luck.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:15 PM
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Grats on another beginning. You can stay sober. It really is possible.

Yeah there's something about the early 30's. I haven't drank since I turned 35, and damn those last 5 years were a total nightmare.

I know lots of alcoholics that did the "marijuana maintenance plan" for a while. (I tried the cocaine plan to utter defeat.) But at some point we have to ask ourselves "What's wrong with me that I can't enjoy life as it is? Without a crutch?"

Searching diligently for the answers, with the desperation of a drowning man, was my beginning. I found them all in Alcoholics Anonymous, especially in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous through the help of others. Yes I am an addict too. A hardcore user believe me, and so I need hardcore, grass-roots recovery.

The headline of your post strikes up a line in the book "And we have ceased fighting anyone or anything, even alcohol." So the key they told me is to surrender, not fight. Or "don't keep hanging on, but keep letting go.." That's the tough part for most of us.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by intention View Post
Do you really think that smoking pot will help you to quit alcohol? I think if you are honest with yourself you would probably admit that at some point, if you keep smoking, you will be more likely to drink alcohol than if you were completely clean and sober.
I've always tried to keep it pretty simple. Clean and sober means clean and sober. I can't stop drinking and continue to smoke pot, that goes vice-versa. I also need to take meds as prescribed, I really can't abuse anything that is mind or mood-altering.

It's possible, I've managed to do it for a few years, take a look around this site or any recovery program and you'll see that it can be a reality.

Welcome, I'm glad you're here and hope you stick around.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:22 PM
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Hey Fightinaddict good your takin an all out offensive on the enemy of addiction, Snap
me to on 4 days...after a few trys at quitting these Demons..If i may call em that without offendin anyone~its the right move to make, an me to dont do AA, But theres
a wealth of support/programmes/Knowledgeable/Experienced personell about this place.
hope it helps you as much as me! am goin for the sheer willpower/desperation stance
that theres no way back but eventual tragedy stance..each to there own Respect...
had a couple of pals did what you did, stopped drinkin an went on the pot fulltime
both cases worked for a short while..then both ended up using pot an drink together
so me too, wouldnt reccomend for any length... Good luck on your new Quest for
Real life Happiness, drink an drug Free.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:34 PM
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Stereosteve that is much how I feel. I feel that sometimes I just can't relax without calming down with some type of substance. I guess I am confused a little because many people take medications for this and I am just confused as to why pot would be bad if I used it responsibly just as medication?

Just to be clear...I am not trying to be defensive at all, I am just asking the questions that addiction has put in my head
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:58 PM
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FA, it took me a year of going to meetings, reading the book, and many other activities to even become convinced that I could not control my drinking even if I wanted to. I'm fixing to PM you something that can save you a lot of misery. It's the same thing in my signature actually.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:13 PM
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Fighting, my heart was kind of pounding when I read what you said. I am thrilled you are where you are right now.

I avoided pot through my years of addiction but did eventually try it and had it on 3 occasions. It was like 10 beers all at once. Thank god I could not build tolerance for it. And thank god I am without alcohol now. Even though I used alcohol, I call myself a drug addict too. I actually make the words come out too.

I have met people in AA who said they were kidding themselves when they stopped drinking and then used pot for 6 months or whatever. They were grateful once they got out of that diversion of progress. To me, that is like the rationalizing to quit when there are X number of the Nine Lives left. That kind of thing. But I am not coming down on you, I am excited about the change you are looking for. Somebody I loved was a successful AA for over a decade and he went back to alcohol and then killed himself after diverting to "only beer." I don't want that to happen to anybody, I want freedom in life for people.

Looking forward to great things for you.
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Old 02-18-2010, 05:33 PM
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This is an interesting one. I used to smoke pot and drink at the same time. Both, every day, for years. Then, one day, I moved away from my pot smoking friends, and I just quit - cold turkey. The alcohol was a different story.

With the pot, you don't get the physical withdrawal symptoms. Cravings, sure, but I at least didn't have any shakiness, nausea, sweats, like I get from alcohol withdrawal. However I know friends who cannot for the life of them go a day without a smoke.

I'd say go talk to an addiction specialist and be totally truthful with them.
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Old 02-18-2010, 08:19 PM
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Thank you everyone for your input. I am positive that I am quitting pot as well. I need to recognize what is making me feel the need to disguise my 'reality', and if in time I still can not cope, I will see a Dr. to sort my head out. This self-medicating is foolish and just plain out does not work! Funny thing is that the biggest hurdle and real only 'big' problem in my whole life,including childhood, had been drinking and addiction. Funny how that works. Like I needed to spice up my life or something.
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