Originally Posted by
Sylvie66 
I feel like some leech that goes around inflicting my standards on people who were perfectly happy the way they were.
Would I be better on my own? Am I failure if I go solo? Am I a codependent twit if I stay? Basically, I'm still a mess.
there is a key point in the first quoted sentence: you can't really and truly inflict your standards on other adult people. you can tell them what your standards are (so you believe) and they get to decide whether or not to live up to them. so far, you have admittedly been "pushing" him. so, really, there's not much successful inflicting going on.
i get what you're saying, though. this is the kind of mind game we go through. we start questioning ourselves, when we're the ones being reasonable, responsible and wanting a healthier lifestyle.
better on your own - only you can decide. and then, well, you might be wrong. we have to go forward in faith.
failure to go solo - huh? which play book are you reading?
codependent - maybe. twit, nope. keep reading here on s/r, and see how many people seem to have their s%!t together. then ask them if they were ever that "twit". we know what you're wrestling with. :ghug3