Your post reminds me of my mother who has stayed with my A father 50 years. She has high blood pressure and has to take 3 medicines every day for it. She keeps telling me I have to get my anger (and other things) under control, else I am going to end up with HBPressure too.
When I lose control of my temper like you have; and when I let it keep me angry like you have, sooner or later (usually later) I look back on it and realize (1) how VERY MUCH of my one precious life I just WASTED and (2) how my inability to control this part of myself has AGAIN caused me to Relapse into other, harmful, unhealthy behaviors.
And then I say "Oh! IF ONLY I could kick this bad habit once and for all!" knowing damn well it isn't THE HABIT that keeps me imprisoned; it is my emotionality and overreacting that keep me imprisoned. Sometimes I wish I would never have to talk to or deal with another human being ever again. But that would be rather dull and boring being stuck with just me, wouldn't it?
Thanks for sharing.