Honesty
I wasnt even able to be honest here.
I have been posting off and on for many months here in my quest for sobriety.
I stated in posts before that I was unable to go to AA meetings as I lived in a small community that didnt offer them.
This was a lie.
Truth is I have attended AA meetings in my community before. It consisted of about 10-15 men and 2 women. I knew most of the people in the room, so much for the anonimity(sp?).
One of the women I didnt get on with very well growing up and the other was a friends mother. I was told after going for about a month that I needed to pick a sponser and she should be female. Neither of these women seemed like a good fit for me but I felt pressured so i asked my friends Mom. She turned me down. So I was left with the other women. She called me constantly and it bordered on stalking. She used AA to hedge a relationship with me that was above and beyond her duties.
It left a very very sour taste in my mouth and I stopped going.
The next closest meetings would be in the city an hour away. I dont drive and its just not feasible.
Anyways, I just wanted to come clean about that because I felt guilty for lying to the people here. You have all been so kind and I want to try and remain honest. Thanks for your continues support.