Carrie36

I wasnt even able to be honest here.

I have been posting off and on for many months here in my quest for sobriety.

I stated in posts before that I was unable to go to AA meetings as I lived in a small community that didnt offer them.

This was a lie.

Truth is I have attended AA meetings in my community before. It consisted of about 10-15 men and 2 women. I knew most of the people in the room, so much for the anonimity(sp?).

One of the women I didnt get on with very well growing up and the other was a friends mother. I was told after going for about a month that I needed to pick a sponser and she should be female. Neither of these women seemed like a good fit for me but I felt pressured so i asked my friends Mom. She turned me down. So I was left with the other women. She called me constantly and it bordered on stalking. She used AA to hedge a relationship with me that was above and beyond her duties.

It left a very very sour taste in my mouth and I stopped going.

The next closest meetings would be in the city an hour away. I dont drive and its just not feasible.


Anyways, I just wanted to come clean about that because I felt guilty for lying to the people here. You have all been so kind and I want to try and remain honest. Thanks for your continues support.

shaun00

lol.....believe it or not your probably not the first alcoholic to tell a fib...

the important thing is for you to get on with recovering rather worrying about all that other.."stuff"..

same sex sponsorship is not always possible.....ive temp sponsored ladies before.

maybe you could approach a suitable recovered male to temp sponsor you till something more suitable comes along.........might not be a great idea to pick the single good looking guy....with the porshe out. front.........lol...lol.....

recovered from a hopeless state of mind & body....as a result of working the steps......and continues too...........is enough.

just my opinion.

keithj

I have as well. Not ideal, but sometimes it's the only viable thing to do. I mean, we are talking about life and death here. Alcohol is no great respecter of gender.

I've also found that the recovery community is little bigger than it appears at first glance. With the willingness to go to any lengths, I believe that a good sponsor can be found. Maybe that means finding someone that you don't necessarily like, but is solid in the Steps. Maybe it means driving further. Maybe different meetings. Charmie has a great story about this.

Dee74

That took a lot of guts - I hope you work out the sponsorship thing ASAP.
Welcome back Carrie

D

Insulated

Perhaps a sponsor from an adjacent city would be willing to provide you with transportation to and from the meetings?

Anna

Hi Carrie,

I know that I lied from early childhood on. I learned to lie to save myself and the lies continued. As I got older, I would lie about inconsequential things and I couldn't understand why I did it. But, I knew that when I began to recover I had to begin to be honest with myself and with others. I'm glad you posted.