Originally Posted by
Sylvie66 
I want to be his partner, but I don't think I can.
That's because alcohol is his true partner, not you. Sad to hear, but true.
Originally Posted by
Sylvie66 I want to stay friends, but dissolve the partnership. I want a clean house, and a partner who doesn't think I'm 'silly' for keeping regular hours. In fact, I want him as a sober, thoughtful, involved partner.
Just as you do not control his drinking, you cannot control the outcome of the relationship with him, only your side of things. You already know what you want (a clean house, a sober, thoughtful and involved partner); it seems you already know that he is not that person. The person he is RIGHT NOW is the only person he is willing to be. Do you want and love that person, completely, as he is today?
When you answer that, you can figure out what you want to do afterwards.