Thanks MaryGoRound (love the name). He really never does seem to realize how hurtful his actions are. I have a hard time understanding that because I get it when I hurt someone. I keep operating with my own sense of logic. He operates with his. The logic of an alcoholic escapes me I guess. I don't get what he's thinking. I don't get how he processes things. I thought love would prevail. I can't remember who wrote this in my last thread or two, but it was "Alcohol trumps love every time" or something like that. That seems to be true.
I thought he loved me in a way that would cause him to make unselfish decisions sometimes...like people do when they love.
I keep thinking about how overwhelmed I was with fear when he drank because I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want him to be lost. The thought of it makes me so sad because I really care about him. It's hard to walk away from him because of that.
Have to though. "Saving myself doesn't mean I don't love him."