Another take on it is our partners are not
emotionally resilient.
They don't handle stress well.
They devolve in times of stress to more base behaviors.
Defense, addiction, abuse - whatever their coping (or non-coping) strategies may be.
Specifically, emotionally resilient people tend to:
* Have realistic and attainable expectations and goals.
* Show good judgment and problem-solving skills.
* Be persistent and determined.
* Be responsible and thoughtful rather than impulsive.
* Be effective communicators with good people skills.
* Learn from past experience so as to not repeat mistakes.
* Be empathetic toward other people (caring how others around them are feeling).
* Have a social conscience, (caring about the welfare of others).
* Feel good about themselves as a person.
* Feel like they are in control of their lives.
* Be optimistic rather than pessimistic.
Introduction to Emotional Resilience - Introduction to Emotional Resilience And Resiliency
My husband is lovely when he's not under stress.
He knows he doesn't handle stress well, but he also is unwilling to learn new coping mechanisms.
Que sara sara.
I continue to remind myself that it doesn't matter the reason.
I just have to deal with the outcome...
or not.
w