Hey KP, that is verbal abuse... and it is madness... unfortunately their rage gets bigger and bigger because one is refusing to be a doormat or put them first... they LOVE to be first...they cant survive if they are NOT first...because then ALCOHOL doesnt win you see??
The only way to win is NOT TO PLAY! NONE of what he said is about YOU, ok?? KP? it is ALL about him, he hurts so he wants you to hurt. And he succeds but I hope not for long and you stay away. And yes, I get wonderful moments that suddenly turn horrible...that is JEKYLL AND MR HYDE...
And no, Jekyll shows don't make up for the Hyde moments, and if you stay there is more and more Hyde and less Jekyll. Because that is who they are for real... that hurting person inside who doesn't know how to handle emotions or issues... and all the alcohol in the world, drugs, sex or whatever won't change any of that... maybe not ever in their life...
Sorry to sound like this but it is good you realize who he is now that you still got health and future and everything going for you... go No Contact... No contact.