Racerx,
I appreciate your viewpoint on this. My post was not meant to be an attack. Advice was given to someone who has relapsed on how to handle that relapse. Things to do were suggested. Those things to do were recommended by somebody who keeps relapsing. I don't think those facts are debateable.
My seemingly attacking posts comes down to the very simple idea of 'does it work'? Does forgiving yourself and learning from a relapse help someone from repeating that relapse? I think the answer is obviously not.
Over and over, advice is given in this forum from people who have not been able to stay sober. That advice is a great example of what not to do. If you want to keep relapsing, do what people who keep relapsing recommend. If you want to recover, do what people who have recovered recommend.
This truly is life or death business. If some feelings get hurt along the way, that's unfortunate, but it's a lot better than telling someone to do things that haven't worked.