Hi dasha - it does sound like you're ready this time. When I came here I knew what had to be done but didn't have the courage to face the unknown (life without booze). When I look back, I don't know why it took me so long to stop pouring the junk down my throat. It had been years since it was fun or an escape from boredom. I was in a living hell.
An exciting new life waits for you dasha - the one you've clung to for so long is bringing you misery. I'm so happy you've come here and look forward to hearing about your journey.