Shocked Confused Disgusted!
Wow, what a day today has been! I have been doing so good these last few weeks distancing myself from my husband and taking care of my and my little boy. Today really has hit me hard!
I'm feeling so many varying emotions right now. I got a call from a good friend of my AH first thing this morning wondering if I knew where he had been staying. I said I wasn't really sure because I'm trying to distance myself from his ciaos. He went on to tell me what he knows which includes the fact that AH showed up at his house numerous times recently with a girl that lives a few houses down from me and is the definition of crack *****. She is/was married and has 3 kids by three different men. I grew up in this neighborhood and she went to high school with my younger brother. I was shocked! He has been right under my nose this entire time. He is pretty much living with here and her 3 kids who are all a little off because she has done so many drugs while pregnant with them and around thm. The friend's wife went on to say how proud this girl is that she is "with" my husband because quite frankly if you look at it despite his issues he is probably the best guy she has ever been with (so that should tell you what kind of losers she has been involved with). He is college educated, holds a good job (for now), drives a nice vehicle, etc. His friend was upset because he let him borrow $600 the other day and was avoiding him. So, I told his friend where the house was and sure enough he was there. When he found him his friend actually punched him because my AH started to give a million excuses as to why he needed the money. I had a feeling that would happen when his friend found him bcause he is known to be a hot head, but I think he got what he deserved.
Shortly afterwards AH called me to try and set up a time to come be with our son and I told him that under no circumstances would he be able to spend any time alone with our son. I said he could stay at the house while I was here or he could visit with him with his parents at their house, but I was not going to expose my son to the things (and the trash) he is associating himself with now. He played stupid and I told him I knew everything about who he is with and what he is doing. Of course you know I got a big song and dance that he isn't with her they are just friends that are both in recovery-HA! I totally lost it and flipped out. The drugs have been one thing, but living with someone who lives a few houses down from me where my friends and neighbors could see him. The nasty girl even told my husband's friend's wife that I was really stupid because all of this is going on right under my nose and I don't have a clue. Friend's wife told her to get out of her house. They had never met each other and she is talking to someone I've known for 8 years about how stupid I am!
After all of this came to light I was shocked. I almost threw up! This is someone that a couple of months ago my husband wouldn't have paid an ounce of attention to. Now he is shacking up with her. Then he has the nerve to act like he is just staying there because he needs a place to stay. I'm disgusted that I gave almost half of my life to the poor excuse for a man, I stood by him when his addiction came to light and he want to rehab, I am the mother of his child, we've been best friend's since we were children and this is how it ends? Him sleeping with a girl who is known to do sexual favors for drugs!
How did my little suburban life turn into this horrible nightmare? I am so relieved that soon I will be free from this, but will I ever really be when I have a child with this guy? And, I feel so sad for my little boy because he will endure I lifetime of disappointment from this man if my AH can't get himself straight.
We are suppose to go to a mediator on Thursday to start drawing up our separation agreement, but I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm thinking that on Wednesday (holiday tomorrow and business trip on Tuesday) I will go to the courthouse to file a petition for support/custody. I live in VA and I'm not sure of the laws, but a friend who has been in a similar situation said I can go in and file this without a lawyer. I also think I can do something in the courts about abandonment which I'm thinking would be a good idea at this point.