Teke, I found that when I thought I needed to "be strong," that is, not show emotion and my sadness, for the sake of my children, they thought they needed to also be strong since that was the example I was setting. When I was able to show them the human side of me - to grieve, to cry, to say I am very sad right now, they learned that it was okay to have these feelings and that by experiencing the grief and sharing it, they could get through the pain.
This is all so new and raw for you...It's okay and so normal to just have to put one foot in front of the other to walk through what is now. During my deepest despair, I often just told my God...I am struggling, please help me. Just that little surrender always helped me take the next step.
Continuing to pray for you and your kids.