everyone is right. i think for every alco who gets sober,there is a story of that journey different than the next person's.
i had the best year of my marriage the year after my husband went to treatment. he
didn talk to me. we enjoyed on another, made love, dreamed together. he was on the treatment high for a few months after he got out. unfortunately, it was just something he couldn't do for very long. he spent a few years - i think - in the dry drunk mode, started (secretly) smoking grass and after all hope dried up, i divorced him. he drinks now and from what i heard my daughter say once, his current girlfriend doesn't identify him as an alcoholic.
he shut down even while sober and didn't let me or anyone else in. i'm pretty sure it's still the same.
your husband could be resentful. he could be hurt. he could be afraid. he could be dry but not truly wanting sobriety. he could be focusing on his recovery the only way he knows how, or the way it's working for him. there is much to be repaired. you lived with angst and fear and anger for so long; just try to be patient. time will reveal what needs to be.
good for you to realize that you have some personal work to do too! keep going to alanon, get your sponsor, and try to focus on your own self at this time.
