Hi qwe. I am in a similar situation. My husband is a month into his recovery, and it has been challenging at times. I know how you feel with the feeling shut out, but this is the truth, and it does suck kind of because we want everything else to get fixed right along with the drinking, but its not about us right now. The quiting drinking is huge, and he needs to talk about it with who he feels comfortable and not be pressured to share it with you right now. I was feeling the same way, but then I realised, through his recovery, he is probably feeling a lot of shame over what has happened, and what kind of husband he has been, even if it doesn't seem like it. They drank for a reason, and the first part is the hard part. I ws feeling really frustrated with things. I backed off, gave him more space. I attended an open meeting with him, which was nice and helpful. Also, keep reading here, and learning more. Just take baby steps relationship wise. There is a lot of healing that needs to happen, and you and he both need to do a lot of that healing on your own first, and then you will be able to grow together. Be gentle on him, and yourself right now, and remember, good marriages take time and effort to build, and he is making a huge effort just by stopping the drinking, I know my husband had a week to 10 days alone of withdrawl, DTs and hallucinations before even starting to think about the emotional recovery. It is a one day at a time thing. ITs like a yo-yo at first, but it slowly gets better. Just be supportive, and he will come around. Good Luck.