Thanks much, Pelican. I love the picture of the tree-lined street. I in no way want to influence his recovery; I would simply like to know so that I can offer support, but without knowing anything I can't do/say anything. I don't at this point understand the point of being married if there are no joint efforts. I have read Melody's book, and through going to Al-Anon knew enough not to explode over the last relapse, just turn off the fire under the pots (he was cooking dinner when he passed out - or having a little sleep as he puts it) & leave everything for him to deal with when he regained consciousness. Staying in a marriage where there is no interaction seems pointless, but if this is within a normal range of an early recovery then I need to give him more time, even if he does not want to tell me that himself. If we're both on our own sides of the street, when do you ever connect in your lives? That is the part I don't understand right now. If we're both to stay on our own sides of the street then we could do that not being married.