Thread: Struggling
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:23 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Suspicious
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by mama26719 View Post
Shows me that I do not really know who it is I am married to anyways.

I had my share of relationships with bad boys that I thought I could love them 'better'. I didnt realize it was a codie thing but I had realized that I had no power to change anyone and just how useless it was to even think I could/should be able to mold someone into my mr perfect. when I met AH I was so relieved to have found someone that was great already. Not perfect but really great. He had his blips in his past but as I had done my share of partying back in the day and come out with no addictions just lifes lessons I thought he was the same. And to be honest, I still dont totally believe that his past dabbling was leading to this. I just think the pain meds did something for him that none of that other stuff never had. He wasnt on the continuous search for the right substance... when we met he (still) drank maybe a couple beers a couple times a year. No pot.

All I know is that if the end result of all this is I end up detaching to the point I end the marriage I will NEVER be able to trust my first impression instinct again. Even tho I truly believe that if he had never been injured and given pain meds this would NOT have happened. Even tho I do think my instincts were spot on with him when I met him I will never be able to look at a person and feel secure that they would never fall prey to substance abuse.
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