[QUOTE=Janeene;2506085]Three months ago I told my alcoholic husband that if he didn't quit drinking and go into treatment, I would divorce him.
He also said he wasn't an alcoholic (people in the recovery program were much worse off than he was) and that he wanted to be a "social drinker."
I said that if he was drinking at all, in any way, I would divorce him. So now he has quit the recovery program, and is home, sober. [QUOTE]
Welcome!
Kudos to your courage in making your needs so clear.
While he is currently not drinking (that you know of), he:
1. says he's not an alcoholic
2. quit his recovery program (an aspect of your requirements)
3. says he wants to be a social drinker (what?)
4. takes no responsibility and expresses no regrets
I see dry drunk. I don't see treatment and sobriety.
So, OF COURSE you have a problem with trust.
My husband is a lot of talk and no responsibility. His talk (and back and forth behavior) can keep me strung along for months. Its just quacking.
My husband will do all sorts of things to:
a. keep me around
b. not make any changes
Boy, your AH did a number on you by following your requests in the letter but not the spirit! He "quit" and "went" to treatment! You have nothing to complain about, right?
As I see more and more of that craziness, the less and less tolerance I have.
The part that I would get hung up on if I were you is the denial of alcoholism and the "social drinker" part. But if you want to wait till he drinks again, you can do that and THEN move forward with divorce and/or the requirement that he go (fully) through rehab/treatment and be clean for a year.
You could choose anything. My main point is you have every reason to feel "off" about where your relationship is and you have already exhibited clarity in identifying your needs and feelings. Go back to yourself. Trust your unease. Ask yourself what would give you peace.
Good luck. Hang in there!
w