InsideOut...it sounds like the sneaking around part has you the most bothered. My husband and I went through a rough spell a couple years back...he was telling me half truths...and then just would flat out lie. He had a hard time telling me things he knew I wouldn't like...like going away with the guys for weekends, etc. Anyway, I had many a melt down till I finally got it through his head that he's making it WORSE by hiding things than if he just told me up front. I know this has nothing to do with drinking per se, but I guess I'm saying just talk to him about it. Everything is better once it's out there. It took a long time for mine to change his ways..it was just how he operated. He wasn't trying to hurt me...quite the opposite...but ultimately it did. Yes, sneaking stuff sucks.
Hope this helps!! Hugs to you!