Welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what brought you here.
I'm an RA (recovering addict), as well as someone who has loved ones who are addicts. I had to walk away from my ex bf because he was still using, though I loved him dearly.
I do have to say, that part of what she said is true - when we are active in our addiction, we CAN'T give/show love to anyone else or ourselves, for that matter....our mind is focused on our DOC (drug of choice). If she is anything like me, the fact that her now bf uses, also, well that makes it easier to continue with the addiction.
You say you want her back, but honestly, you don't even know who the "real" her is - you know what the addict her is. Addiction is progressive and it gets bad...really, really bad. ((Rayofsunshine)) is right - please read the sticky posts at the top of the forum - there is a lot of valuable information and insight up there.
We all want to think "MY ---- would never stoop that low" but if you stick around long enough and the addiction continues, you will experience things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.
I'm also a codie (codependent) - most of us here, are. We think we can love them enough to get them well. It doesn't work that way. I had people that loved me dearly, but the only reason I got clean is because they all loved me enough to step back and let me face the consequences of of my actions.
You may want to read some other posts here - you'll see that you're not alone in loving an addict, but you'll also get a picture of what life with an addict is truly like.
I know you're heart feels as if it is breaking, but keep posting, reading and hang around with us for a while. There IS life after loving an A (addict and/or alcoholic). I'm living proof.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy