I too am going through the same thing, married 25 years..I think of him every day all day as much as I say I wont. I get panic attacks then depressed.
he doesnt have any family, just me and my family and that worries me.
I too dont want to live with his addiction, but I must admit that at least
when he lived home I knew he was alive.
I work fulltime but when I come home I get sad not seeing him here, it has
been 2 months now. I know where he is living and telephone number too and
I struggle each day in not calling him as I know no contact is recommended,but find it extremely hard.
I keep saying to myself, oh he will stop soon he loves me!! then I think..oh
he hates me and will divorce me over the pain meds..
we went through rough times but always stood by each other side (I had cancer 2 times) but this problem now is extremely difficult on me and we are not together to help each other.
do they feel sad? do they feel lonely? do they cry? do they get panic thinking what we are doing? can anyone tell me ?
I too have looked into meetings, just cant find the courage to go to one yet ..but know we should.
Please know your not alone and I feel for you all, I try to take it one day at a time but the days are awful long not knowing answers and missing the person we feel in love with.
I pray that we all heal through this.