SoBearish

Feel so ashamed coming back here. Although I never made it more than a few days sober, I was still trying. Then I gave up. So over the last year I started smoking weed again (over a year without), drinking every night, living through my hellish hangovers and slipping deep into debt as the US economy tanked.

I have an amazing 10 month old son and devoted wife who have no idea how much I drink and how much I owe.

I feel like the character from 'Crime and Punishment' telling lie after lie and crushing myself with shame and guilt.

I didn't drink or smoke yesterday but I did take Xanax. My hole is deep, my rope is thin and I feel all alone.

Thanks for listening.