But how do I gain trust.
It's been my experience that it takes time for someone to
earn my trust. It also might involve me making adjustments as to just how high the other person is required 'to jump' in order for me to be willing to trust (again). I may set my sights too low (being codie) or on the other hand, too high; especially if I'm still angry.
One more thing I learned from a very good counselor is that much of my judgements & thinking were black & white. Once I learned that there were areas of variation inbetween-I could manage life alot easier. This way I don't need to have complete or total trust in order to start or give someone another chance.
It's best for me when it comes gradually and in diverse circumstances. For instance: I may be able to trust someone in one aspect but not another. That's how I keep my space safe and serene-bit by bit, over time.