My RAH went into treatment 4 months ago. He is out now, living in a sober house.
To me what's important is what I am doing. I'm going to Al Anon and in counseling. I've started taking an exercise class for the first time in over a decade. I have a vacation planned with my son in two weeks, just the two of us.
My point is that we can go crazy focusing on others. Everything I've read and heard in Al Anon indicates that for most alcoholics it is a slow journey. There are many behaviors that are difficult for them to overcome, and I don't mean just the drinking.
I am really trying to focus on myself and my son as much as possible. I still talk to and see my husband, and we are in therapy together. I know I'm not ready to live with him again. Don't know if I ever will be, but for now, I'm focusing on the present.
Don't know if this helps you...good luck.