Hi Lee
Like Carol said, I hope you're considering seeing a Dr. - it's a sensible move.
I remember very clearly the fear of knowing I had to 'jump' but being deathly scared of doing just that.
Recovery was my 'in case of emergency - break glass' thing - for that 'someday' when I needed it. It was my little life preserver.
If I failed that, what then?
Well...'someday' arrived - I nearly died, so I jumped.
I made it - but I see now it's not an exam, Lee...noone gets graded on recovery - we're just in it - all together
If you have a negative experience at one meeting, go to another one, mate.
You will have noticed in your reading, some of us fall down and slip up - we get up again, learn from our mistakes and keep moving on.
We don't shoot our wounded. And you're not alone in this
I've never regretted choosing recovery. I don't think you will either.
Hope to see you around some more.
Welcome to SR
D