Originally Posted by
suki44883 
Not trying to rain on your parade, and that little voice may be gone for good, but more than likely, it's just being squelched by the trouble you are in. I truly don't mean to sound all doom and gloom, but I have been exactly where you are and I thought after I got a DWI, totaled my car and was looking at several thousand dollars in legal bills, I didn't think I'd ever consider drinking again, either. But, after a little while, that voice started in on me and before long, I felt like I could still drink but keep it under control. Of course, I was wrong and it took another two years before I finally realized that I could not just stop drinking on my own. No matter how determined I was, eventually, I would again pick up.
I sincerely hope that you are right and the desire to drink again never crosses your mind. But, be very careful of thinking that you have this thing beat. It's a very cunning and powerful addiction. When we think we have it figured out, that's when we need to be most vigilant.
I have no doubt that I will have the desire to drink again one day, even after all of this..it's how alcoholism works, as far as I know. But even when/if that day comes, desire or no, I know I will not drink, and the voice/idea/thoughts/stinkin thinkin, whatever you want to call it, wasn't so much just a desire to drink right then and there, but an idea that -someday- I would be able to drink normally. That is what I believe is finally gone, for good.
And Angelina, yes, I've heard that. I even heard at AA tonight that some people have gone back and thanked the officer who arrested them, years later, for saving their lives.
I know relapses can happen to just about anyone, but even if I get the most I can hope for from this, I will have at the very least a year, possibly more, when if I ever take a drink, I go sit in jail, period. A year is a long time, for me, especially a year spent working the programs and doing intensive treatment. I think it will be a productive year.