Originally Posted by
Nichole78 
he went into i dont care about anything mode, im going to get high and im going to kill myself.........then he doesnt answer the phone ALL day long! I get a text from him at 10pm saying he is ok. he was hanging out with drug addicts all day long debating on if he should use or not
He ended up ripping his work check up so he couldnt cash it so he coudlnt use
he didnt go to work, hasnt been feeling well due to Hep C
why does he stay?
everyone who says to focus on yourself is right. but you already know that. you have some frustrations, and some confusion - that's why you posted.
last question in quote first:
he stays because they are both messed up, and their particular brands of "messed up" works for them in a crazy way.
cynical hit the nail on the head.
all of the above statements from your post are untrue, imo.
there is a little trick that addicts do: it's called "tell a sliver of a truth in a using story or scenario, and they will feel that you're being honest with them".
what i think the "debated all day long" with the other druggies really was, was that he did more than just "hung out"
he's really got a commitment going on about staying clean & sober; he can spend all day with using addicts, and when he feels tempted he is so committed that he rips up his check? why on god's green earth would he tear up a paycheck? wouldn't a rational person say "i don't trust myself right now; could you hold this money for me?" so i'm not buying that in five million years. remember, he did not answer his phone all day long, knowing that people who were concerned about him were the ones calling.
i know i have come across pretty callous here. it's totally what i see.
please let him go for now, sweetheart. we are here to support you in your quest to get healthier. if he wants to be sober, he knows how. if it looks like a duck and smells like a duck......