Originally Posted by
I'm tired 
My dilemma seems to be I am having difficulty in detatchment from her.
I'm tired,
I'm in the same situation with my AS. He is 32 and one step away from being homeless because of his addictions and legal problems. In the past, I have always used any means I could to rescue him.
I think for me the greatest lesson I have learned has been from the recovering addicts on this message board who have shared that until their family allowed them to fully experience the consequences of their own decisions, they would not have found recovery.
I have also struggled with detachment and the difference between "detaching with love" and "abandoning with disgust." I love my son and want more than anything for him to get well. I have, however, recently come to accept my own powerlessness over his disease. One day I thought about it and realized that nothing, nothing I have ever done for him has helped him find recovery -- no matter what it was.
I am starting to work on myself and accepting that my attempts to control his decisions and rescue him over and over (my "this time it will work!" thinking) is my own disease.
I still have so far to go, but find that, in accepting my own powerlessness, I can pray for him which is all we can do anyway.
Love and hugs,