OooOo.. I've been there too.. I can't recall the number of posts I made trying to make sense of things. There is a saying around here.. (somone may remember it more precisely that me) You can't make sense of crazy.. or you can't make sense of things that don't make sense. (someone help me out here!)
I used to think if I could just figure it out then I would know how to fix it or at least handle it. Unfortunately it proved to be fruitless.