Thankyou Whadahay
I know you are right, but at the beginning I didn't know how to play it and found myself giving him the impression that I would seriously consider being the gf - there's a lot about him I like and could easily fall for and I do find I just want to hug him and make everything better whenever I see him (if only if were that simple!).
However I think he thought I was just tough loving him until such a time as I saw fit to step into the gf role. But I recently I told him that if it's 'all or nothing' then I can't chose 'all' and he now hates himself for giving me the ultimatum and me for not seing through the recovery clouds and seeing the potential in us. I think he has now put up a great wall between us and wont let me be there anymore because he cant deal with me as just a friend because he fell in love