HI.
i really do understand your pain, it's been 2yrs since i was separated from my ah of 23yrs. together we have 7 kids and we didn't hear from him the whole first yr.
yes it hurt but one day at a time, it got easier and easier. what helped me was to make a decision to do whatever i could do to stop myself whenever i caught myself thinking about him, good or bad.
there were times i thought if only i could talk to him, well at those times, i wrote and re-wrote letters saying all i needed to say but never mailed any of them. they were to him but for me. hope that make sense.
good to see you doing fun things for yourself. just try to keep the focus on you and your granddaughter. maybe for now, try to stay strong and keep giving him the space that he needs but be aware, he may come around one day when you least expect it, have you gone to any alanon or naranon meetings yet?
you and your family are in my prayers.