JenT - spot on!
Howdy and welcome!
Yuck yuck and double yuck!
Manipulation and pressure from him.
Wanting him to be something else from you.
Keep up with Alanon and consider reading Codependent No More.
There are tons of marvelous fish in the sea for you. Ones (I promise) that you could love wholeheartedly and would partner with you to make those dreams come true.
You deserve more than what you're getting. But the real work is to look inside you and find out why you would settle for what you're getting.
That's the work we all must do.
Keep doing it here. It helps.
Hugs,
wife