qazqaz,
what screams out at me from your post, is that you talk a lot about what he says and what he wants, but it is clearly not the same as what you want.
we are attracted to certain people for certain reasons. in a thread started today about abuse, one of us said that they think the perp seeks out certain people to be his victims. i think something like that is going on here, yes?
i guess i think that if you stay connected to him in such an intense way, even though you do care about him, and love him in a sisterly/friend way, you will end up resenting him later because you will not be where you truly wish to be. does this make sense?