I'm a recovering addict whose drug of choice (DOC) was Vicodin . . . I was addicted to them for 25 years. This addiction caused me to lose so much in that time frame. It cost me two marriages, many friends, many, many jobs, the respect and trust of so many of my family and friends who didn't wash their hands of me. But most of all, I lost all respect for myself.
The thing I want to express the most is that you cannot push her into getting help for her addiction. It's like the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I put myself into treatment many times for all the wrong reasons. . . to please my family, the Courts, everyone but myself.
What I would suggest is letting her know that you are there for her, that you don't plan on walking away from her at this point. As addicts, one of our biggest fears is abandonment. Most of us have lost many people in our lives so we're naturally scared that the people we care for are going to suddenly disappear.
I'd like to suggest that you go to Alanon or Naranon Meetings. I know she's addicted to Vicodin, not alcohol, but Alanon has some very strong Alanon groups out there. Naranon has some too, but not nearly as many. At these Meetings, they will deal with what you should do and not do about her addiction and how to help her, but mostly what you can do for yourself throughout all of this. You'll meet other people who have an addict or alcoholic in their lives. Just google Alanon Meetings in your city and it should give you a list of Meetings or a contact number.
I also suggest not bringing up the subject of her getting help unless she brings it up. I've seen it happen too many times where the significant other of the addict keeps asking, "Did you find somewhere for treatment? Have you used today? How many pills did you take? Are you going to go to a Meeting? . . . " This is her disease. She has to be the one to reach out for help. If she asks you to go to Meetings with her, then by all means go, if it's something you feel comfortable doing.
Us addicts are very complicated people. Just when you think you know what mood we're in, we're more than likely to flip moods very quickly. Especially if it's a female addict! lol (Sorry, just trying to put a smile on your face.)
We have a friends and family forum of substance abuse on this site. I'm sorry, I can't remember exactly what it's called, but you'll see it.
The bottom line is, support her, don't smother her.
God Bless,
Judy