My week-end was supposed to consist of: surprise birthday party for mom, drop off DD at her father's, go to tango, pick up DD and go back home.
Instead it consisted of: surprise birthday party for mom, MAJOR argument over the phone with XAH ending with him hanging up on me, a tear-filled and frustrated discussion with my parents, and THEN dropping DD off at her father's, tango practice and picking DD up, and THEN more crying at home with mom.
My strategy has been to keep my mouth shut about what I want custody wise until Thursday's mediation. If XAH blew up when reading my plan, there'd be a witness there to see it. But when XAH started demanding that I show him the parenting plan I'd drafted up, I kinda lost it. I have so much pent-up resentment and anger for this person, and I generally feel that I just have to shove it all down and keep things polite for my daughter's sake. But I didn't this time...It all tumbled out of me: how I think XAH is unstable and unable to care for a toddler for 50% of the time, how shared custody is a dangerous idea for our child who thrives on regularity and how joint custody with my having primary residential custody is to everyone's advantage. I should have known to stop when XAH kept spouting about his RIGHTS, his RIGHTS, his RIGHTS!
It all ended with him hanging up on me. I was ITCHING to write him a scathing email, but instead, I just emailed to confirm that I was dropping DD off at 12 and to please have lunch prepared for her. Yay for me.
This morning, I get another suggestive and threatening email from him, describing me as unstable (former dancer, mentally unstable, on probation at work), whereas he is Father of the Century (got a new job, starts today, has a 12 year old son as proof of his wonderful fatherly attributes, blah blah blah). He threatened to accuse my father of child abuse and to demand that he be supervised while caring for my daughter. He suggested he's calling his lawyer. And then demanded again that I prepare the parenting plan before he serves me with papers in a few weeks.
ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*taking deep breath now*
I won't respond. I won't play this game. I have an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow to discuss whether I need to serve XAH before he serves me. I may well go ahead and serve him anyhow and try to proceed with mediation anyway. From the sound of the email I received, I get the feeling that XAH is afraid to go to court and is trying anything to get me to give him what he wants out of court. His X had mentioned that he never showed up for the custody hearing for her son...
So there. I'm not feeling so frustrated anymore. Just tired of this. I want to do what's best for DD even though it sucks the big one.