Just felt the need to get this stuff "out there". Suddenly I remembered this vivid image of F, smiling at me like a little kid. It seems decades away now. Thanks for understanding how it feels. I remembered in order to move on one has to accept feelings, I accept there is still some longing in my heart. I miss him. More than as a boyfriend.. as a friend. I miss the conversations, his hugs and laughs. Getting this stuff while I was mourning deeply "out to the world" feels appropiate and is a relief...