Honey, you CAN go to a meeting by yourself. If you will, I'd like to share my first experience with you. My fiance' was an alcoholic and an addict. He overdosed in our bed Thanksgiving. So I woke up next to him dead. I drank a small bottle of vodka (which I would N-E-V-E-R dream of doing...but I did) I fell in a drunken stupor right on my eye. I smashed the cell phone into my face and the floor and the result was incredibly noticeable black eye. It looked like I'd been in a fight and lost. I was encouraged to go to a meeting in order to get a grip on this isn't my problem and stop blaming myself for his addicitons and look after myself kind of thing. Well, I made quite an entrance and it was memorable. Dear, if I can walk into a church, in my town, where everyone knew he was an addict and now dead with a black eye...........you can do this! Admission is the first step. Walking through the door to a meeting is childsplay. Keep posting. We are here for you.