Running after someone for 10 years and then no more running is a cause for withdrawal symptoms, YOURS. You have only been free of the chaos for less than 3 months, so you are still in vunerable mode. Being dragged back into helping and sorting HIS problems is not you fault and it is perfectly understandable that you "feel" you need to hear how he is going. Been there and done that many times.
The problem for you is do you save YOURSELF or save him?
In staying out of his life of drama, caused by HIS choices, not yours, you get to stay sane, calm, happy and get a life.
Getting involved again, even by a phone call, can open the flood gates and the danger of his life invading you again.....end of sanity, calm, happy....uncertain life for you.
Try anything to take your mind off him, no matter how silly it sounds.....I used to try a hard yoga style exercise that put my old arthritic knees in pretzel pose...painful. It took my thoughts from ABF as I huffed and puffed to get into the pose, then get out of it.
I wouldn't go back to contact and if you are told that as his next of kin YOU MUST, tell them to look elsewhere. I could make the Queen my next of kin, but I can't see her accepting the responsibility....can you?
Stay free of all that you escaped from in October, and leave him to God.
God bless
