sas

Hi everyone.... I have been a lurker on here for some time and have gained A LOT of knowledge from all your posts!

So here goes with my EXAH.... we had been together 10 years we met when i was eighteen, im now twenty eight and his drinking has been getting steadily worse over the years, i didnt notice at the start or didnt understand. We got married 2 and a half years ago.

And basically I had had enough of his lack of respect for me and everyone around us, the constant bickering and arguing over the normal everyday things, and his inability to face up to reality and of course the life a alcoholic leads, im sure i dont need to tell you all what the last ten years has been like.

I liliterally woke-up on 29th october last year and said enough is enough and left, thankfully i have great support from my family and friends and me and my beloved dog have moved back in with my parents! eeeek! 28 and back at home!

It has been the hardest thing I have ever done and will ever do. I have been through every emotion under the sun in the last few months and especially with christmas thrown in there inbetween.

So last weds he drove to do a course (for his trade -hes currently not working) 2 and a half hours away from where we live, he left at 5am and did the course then was driving back and basically his body went into withdrawal as he HADNT had a drink for ONE day almost. He had a seizure whilst driving, crashed into the barrier on the motorway. Thankfully nobody else was involved and he wasnt seriously hurt. He then had another siezure whilst in A and E. They had to put his body into detox while they ran tests etc.

As I am his next of kin, the doctors wouldnt talk to anyone else so it was left for me to sort out yet another of his messes. Bearing in mind the hospital he was in was 2 hrs away from me. So he discharged himself on the fri morning, believing he had been in a 'hippy commune' and all sorts of insane things.

Cutting a long story short myself and my dad picked him up from a train station in the middle of nowhere he had managed to get himself on, took him to his new place. (he was due to move out of out joint rented property that weekend). I took him everything he needed and have basically left him to it.

I didn't stop crying for 3 days over the stress of it all and the build up to it i suppose. So now hes in his new place, i have cleaned up the mess he left the house in and have sorted everything out.

Now I suppose what my problem is.... is that I really have the urge all the time to ring him and see if he is ok!!!!!!?????

What is he doing in his new place? Has he got worse? I just dont know what to think. He did hurt his back quite badly in the crash. I think he had, had some sort of mental breakdown judging by the state of the house, and he is totally unable to look after himself (always has been, ive always done everything for him, but i didnt realise so much until after he has been left to his own devices)

How do I overcome these urges to ring him, as I am soooooo much better when I have no contact at all, thank goodness we didnt have children together. But I just want to pick up the phone and make sure he is ok?! I know this sounds ridiculous but after ten years its hard not to be able to pick up the phone and speak to him yknow?

Any advice on how I can get over this last hurdle would be greatly appreciated! x