It took coming here and writing down my story for me to come out of my denial. Denial that it was "that bad."
He theatened to kill me if I didn't stop crying. He bashed his car into mine because I wouldn't move it on Christmas eve. We fought. Constantly. In front of the kids. They are still paying for it.
I did the best I could at the time, but I now know that my children suffer from my staying in that insane situation.
I'd say physical fighting, using the kids are weapons against you, taking the kids away from you and threats of god knows what are way worse than financial issues.
Can't you call a domestic violence shelter and get some advice?
If the lease is in your name, you should be able to remove him from the premise, file a restraining order also to prevent him from hurting you or the kids.
I know we cannot help anyone who isn't ready to help themselves, but you are asking for opinions here and mine is that this is a dire, dangerous, move carefully and quickly situation. And even though that's my personal opinion and I'm a Miss Smarty Pants Know It All, I still will implore you to seek councel with a domestic violence specialist.