I'm not sure if this is bad advice or good. But, I tend to ask myself "How important is it really"? -- That I know? and know NOW. If my husband uses now and then, the proverbial **** will eventually hit the fan. Obsessing over it just makes it a wee bit too important for the present. I get over the episodes by just living life. I've got this life to live with friends, family, kids and opportunities. Stay out of my way.
We ride this merry-go-round about every six months. Ultimately I think it's something else.