Thanks guys for the responses.
I still don't trust myself with these dilemmas and seem to blow things out of proportion. I am at Al-Anon though and have now found this forum, so I hope to get better at trusting my instinct and making the right decisions.
My DD and I had a long talk about it and have agreed between us that she puts Uni on hold for at least this year whilst she continues to work full time and earn some money and do some saving.
As I can not afford to move out at this current moment in time, my DD is going to move out and house share with friends, which will be more affordable for her and I can help out/treat her occasionally, where I can. I don't want her to move out of home this way, it breaks my heart, but her dads constant controlling and bullying behavior towards her is only getting worse and DD and I both realise that it would be healthier for her in the long run to escape now. She is scared to be left in the home on her own with him and after another bad spat with her dad tonight, whilst I was out at a Al-Anon meeting, I came home to find she had left to go to her boyfriends house for some peace. This is a toxic environment for a 19yr old.
So thats where we are.
Thanks again for you support and 'Tell It Like It Is' straight forward postings, I needed to hear that.