Welcome dajeff. I completely agree with you - I was a fish out of water for awhile when I first quit. I had become so used to numbing myself, I didn't even remember what it felt like to get through the day without my anesthesia.
I had the same situation as you - it was my husband's drinking that ended our 12 yr. marriage. I couldn't take the rollercoaster ride anymore & took our son & left. He never did see the light. Then I developed my own dependence on it. Strange, isn't it? I guess I didn't learn any lessons from his behavior. At least we're getting it right now, though.
When I came to SR I found so many people just like me. It was such a relief to no longer be alone in my private hell. I thought I was unusual & no one would understand what I was going through. I was still drinking when I got here, but reading everyone else's experiences made me want to have what they had - a life free from being a slave to alcohol. It took awhile before I felt the happiness I was looking for, but it came. When I least expected it, hope and joy returned to my life. It'll happen to you, too.