hi kassie-
i too found that after a period of no contact, it was very clear to me how any communication with him really upset my status quo. i could be fine for days, and one single convesation would throw me off balance again.
you don't have to speak to him if you don't want to. you are in the driver's seat. if he wants to take steps to separate, why not let him?
it's not like a separation is forever anyway. if you separate and he seeks recovery and becomes healthy, you could always date again in the future, on your terms.
to me, a separation would be a blessing. then, the split is defined and you are once again managing your own life, your own finances, etc.
naive