Thank you, Stella and Gold.
Yep, Stella, me too. I did a pretty good job standing up sometimes in this relationship, but was blind to much.
And that seems to track back to what lilyflower said, especially this:
"I chose destructive relationships because I didn't know how to stand up for what I deserved. I found it almost impossible to identify when I was being treated unfairly or unkindly. I was more than willing to accept anything so long as I had someone in my life. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't think I would make it on my own, after years of being undermined and criticised by my family I truely believed there was a problem with me and couldn't identify it."
Imagine thinking you deserve to be treated respectfully and fairly, and that life can be low drama. Kind of funny, but that seems wild! And yet, very enticing.
I fell for the splashy, "I'll treat you like a queen", over-the-top, spectacular lines, that are actually ridiculous.
Respect and fairness, low drama. That's what I want to believe I deserve, and what i want to give.