SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

01-19-2010, 09:18 AM

# 33 (permalink)

dothi

Member

Join Date: Sep 2008

Location: Anywhere but the mainstream.

Posts: 402

Quote:

Originally Posted by mfrankl6

I don't know if I am ready to leave. Part of me wants to but I want my kids to be happy.

Talk to your kids - are they really happy living with their drunk mom who they can't feel comfortable bringing friends home to meet? You are assuming that their lives are better with AM in it. Please check out the neighing "Adult Children of Alcoholics" Forum. A negligent, selfish parent isn't necessarily better than no parent at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mfrankl6

She is always saying when we move things will change.

This is really common: the alcoholic's magical cure to all your problems. No self-work required - just one magical fix. The false promise tied to high hopes that all it will take is this one thing to make all the problems go away. Ask yourself honestly, will the problems go away if you move?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mfrankl6

Her eyes were glassy last night when I got home at she gave me the I want sex look. I was so turned off I didn't even want to kiss her.

Draw a boundary, mfrank. "I will not have sex with you while you are drunk." That's it. Specify the action and specify the consequence. And then leave the toxic guilt at the door. You do not have to feel guilty fo protecting yourself. You do not have to feel guilty for not having sex that you did not consent to have.