So I was near the end of my shift yesterday and a co-worker commented how she could really use a drink. It shook me so bad, I didn't tell her but it sent me almost off the deep end. I drove home with my mind racing, "You can do it, just a six pack. It's your night off, you've been really good. One night won't hurt you." I made it home resisting the impulse and broke out in a sweat, I paced the house for a minute and then being hungry I made a quick dinner and ate it in about five minutes. Then I chugged a liter of seltzer water. I sat down at the computer and read blogs here while drinking some more seltzer obviously drinking the seltzer as if it were beer. I lost myself thankfully in reading and about one hour later the spell was over.
What a murderous two hours though and thank you SR and all the participants here. Your stories helped keep me from the drink once again. I was perilously close to getting up and driving for beer though. I'm just glad I didn't.
I am now terrified when the next episode will be and how many more I will have to endure. When I told my wife, she said "How can you still have these cravings after one month?" This question from her is why I come here. Only other addicts can understand the control a bad habit can have on you.
It is clear to me now that the psychological part of addiction is way worse than the physical, at least for me.
Another day down and many more to go I presume, I'll just have to keep toughing it out as I don't plan on failing.
