Why is this so hard?
I found all this stuff so hard at first too, and I discovered it is because my behavior around alcoholics involves all kinds of complex emotions.
I also found that everything related to improving my life and standing up for peace and serenity in my life, got easier with practice! It all felt painful and weird because I had never done it before. I had never said No to my A brothers. I had never (and it seems insane to me now but hey) realized I could just walk away and shut off my phnes and not answer my doorbell and not bail them out or lend them money or even LISTEN to their quacking! I just had to learn some new skills, practice using them, and then things got smoother and easier, never really "easy" but easier.
AlAnon and therapy helped me see things differently, but I had to make a commitment within myself to STOP doing what I had been doing, and START doing things differently. And keep doing things differently. This brought about good changes in my life!
peace-
b